I Need to Share it

Friday, June 12, 2009

I'm in a great sadness. So sorry to share it to you, but I think I need to spill my mind and my feeling.

Remember my trip to Singapore 2 weeks ago? I was doing a procedure called IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination); some of you might familiar with this procedure. For those who don't know IUI, this is how it works :
I was taking medicine for several days to stimulate folicles in my ovarium, I also having some injections until I'm ovulate. After I'm ready; my husband has to produce his sperm, bring it to lab, and they will "washed" the sperm to get the best of it. After the sperm ready, those 'tadpoles' are injected to my uterus and then we just hope for the best.

It was quite a stressful experience; I have to see doctor everyday for about 10 days , I have to remember all the dose he gave me, I also have to face my fear with needle, and dealing with the 75% of failure. Everybody reminds me not to get so anxious and stress. But it's rather easier to speak, isn't it? So, I tried (hardly) to enjoy my 2 weeks in Singapore, pretended that I'm on holiday!

And yesterday, after 2 weeks of waiting for the result, I had to accept the fact that my first attemp of IUI is officially...FAILED! I had my period yesterday evening.

I'm the weak one, so I told my husband, and I just kept crying all night. I saw my husband so worried about me, he's afraid that I can't handle this. Though I know that he also quite sad, but he's so strong and keep calming me down, makes my mourning time lot easier.

That was last night, and I kinda make a deal to my self I can pity my self all night long ,but only for ONE night! Tomorrow is a new day. Well, I'll try my best. Today, I make decision for my next plan : I am taking a break, no pills, no injections, no med check, find some distraction, let go all the fears, have fun, and just keep believing in His path. Wish me luck !


***Jon**** said...

I am so sorry to read about this. I was just thinking about you last night and wondering about the test results.

Spilling it out is one of the ways of facing it. And tomorrow IS another day. Don't stress yourself too much and have fun.

LadyShuttleMaker aka MadMadPotter said...

My sympathies to you. Dissapointment is so very difficult to deal with...but I love your attitude of giving yourself one night to mourn and waking up to a new day. Good luck to you my dear.

Accoustic Tranquility said...

*hug hug hug*

TattingChic said...

Here's a big ((hug)) for you, my dear! How very disappointing for you.
Well, maybe tatting can be one of those distractions to help you at this time. ;)
Good luck with your endeavors and just know it's natural to grieve at this time for the loss of what you had hoped for. Don't deny yourself the time to grieve properly, either! It's normal and needed at this time.

That said, I admire how you are able to communicate all that medical stuff into English as a second language for yourself. Nice job. :)

TatForFun said...

Many thanks to you my dear friends. Though we barely know each other, but I can feel your greatest sympathies for me. And it's brighten my day. Thank you and may god Bless you too ^_^

*ps : I always check and recheck and more recheck; on my grammar and spelling of words I'm using on my blog, seems ok; but somehow I know, that my English-user friends are having a hard time to understand what I'm trying to say LOL ^_^

singtatter said...

A big HUG. So sorry to hear the news. Don't think too much about it, and stay positive. Brace up!

Jane Eborall said...

I'm sorry to hear that this failed for you - BUT I know of several people who were lucky with their second attempts. So, here's to the future - it WILL work next time.

laura_rose said...

Hi, I have dropped in from Ellen's blog - an Indonesian tatter!! (Bahasa is my 2nd language:)) So sorry to read your news, but from experience, your attitude will see you succeed, so many hugs, and keep your chin up! BTW I browsed down a bit and love your tatting too :)

Fox said...

Today is already tomorrow! Have a good day and Good Luck!

laura_rose said...

Hai, Terima kasih untuk berkunjuni blog saya. Bahasa saya kurang rajin sekarang, tapi saya mengajar bahasa dua tahun yang lalu di SMP. Saya hampir ke Indonesia tiga kali, tapi belum pergi ke sana. Tempat email saya laura_rose76@yahoo.com kalau mau menulis dalam Bahasa :)

Sorry folks - be assured my Indonesian is much worse than TatForFun's english :) Hope you understand :)

Big World of Tatting. Design by Pocket